A mother is the most beautiful creation of God.
We have heard this all our lives. However, what we all tend to ignore is the fact that the time a mother delivers the child, she becomes eligible for all the judgements by society. She gets to hear all the time “what kind of mother she is” or “how possessive she is” no matter what she does for her child. Society never leaves a mother alone and is never kind towards a mother. People find a way to criticize her at every step. Below are some examples when people criticize the mother without understanding the real situation.
- If a new mother holds her child all the time, people will say that she is so possessive and can’t leave her child alone. They will also say that she doesn’t trust the family for the child. And if a mother doesn’t hold the child very frequently and lets him/her play in the crib, she gets to hear that she is so careless. Same people will say that she doesn’t care about the child and prioritizes other chores over the child.
- If a mother forces the child to eat, people will say that she is so possessive and she should leave the child alone for some time. They will suggest to her how the child should not be overfed. And if she tries to follow a particular timetable for the eating of the child and tries to engage the child in other activities when he/she is crying, the same people will say that she is so careless. They will also accuse her of making the child starve.
- If a mother takes the child to the park and instead of sitting there alone, plays with her child, people will say that she is so possessive and she should give the child an opportunity to mix-up with other children. And if a mother leaves the child with his/her friends and takes a walk or chats with her own friends, while her child is playing, the same people will say that she is very careless and self-centred. They will also say that she brings her child to the park only so because she can enjoy herself.
- If a mother cancels some Sunday brunch plan with friends at the last moment because her child is not well, people will say that she is very possessive. They will also suggest that the child is the responsibility of the father also and at least for one day, he can take care of the child. And if she sticks to the plan and leaves the child with the father, the same people will say that she is very careless. They will say that a father cannot take care of the child the way a mother can do.
- If a mother is always on her toes for the study of her child and makes sure that her child doesn’t miss any class, people will say that she is very possessive. They will say that she should give the child a break. And if she doesn’t care much about the grades and her only aim is to make the child confident and aware of all the concepts, the same people will say that she is very careless and she should take care of the studies of the child. They will also judge the child with his/her grades and if that is not good, the mother is also not good.
- If a mother chooses to quit the work after the child is born, people will say that she is very possessive. They will say that the women should always be self dependent and if a father can work, a mother too can. If a mother chooses to work even after the child’s birth and has to leave the child in daycare, she becomes careless. People will say that the child should be the utmost priority of a mother and she should not leave the child in the hands of unknown people.
So, no matter what you do for your child, you will always remain a “careless” mother or an “over possessive” one. People will never understand the situation behind your actions. Every child is different and so is every mother. There are no set rules for parenting. Every household has a different environment and every family has its own rules and needs. A mother takes the decisions according to the nature of her child and the environment of the family. Therefore, mothers should always believe in themselves and should not pay heed to what others say. Because a mother knows what is best for her child and she can never do wrong with her child. So, make your own rules of parenting, stay happy and keep the child happy without worrying about others.